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Paul Stanley Offers Great Advice For Dealing With Difficult People

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Paul Stanley is a sensitive person by his own admission, so it's not hard to see how that could result in friction between him and someone like Gene Simmons, who has been known to speak out of turn on occasion.

The KISS cofounders have nevertheless persevered through decades of ups and downs with their legendary band. And while the years have had their share of controversies, the two are rarely out of synch when it comes to the music.

During a recent Q&A session aboard this year's Kiss Kruise, Stanley was asked about how he's grown over 50 years of Kiss and how his relationship with Simmons has somehow become one of the longest of his life.

He referred to Simmons as a member of his family, and while that doesn't mean they get along all the time — they don't — they have some important shared values which have allowed their partnership to endure.

In reference to some of his challenges with Simmons over the years, Stanley shared some awfully good advice for anyone dealing with a person they find "difficult."

"I remember there were things about him that used to drive me crazy," he continued. "Then I realized that that's not his issues; that's my issue. When people do things and it bothers you, you need to figure out why it bothers you, not expect them to change. It's not about them. And things that used to bother me about Gene, I just had to kind of figure out, 'Wait a minute. That's my issue that bothers me. And why does it bother me?' Because he can only be the best he that he can be; he's never gonna be me, and I'm never gonna be him. So it's just a matter of putting a lot of that stuff aside. We're not gonna change anybody else, so we need to figure out why it bothers us."

While working with Simmons isn't easy — he's admitted to not really liking Gene when they first met — Stanley has on occasion appreciated Simmons brusque mindset.

In 2014, Stanley released a tell-all Face The Music: A Life Exposed, where he laid out his feelings on all of his fellow Kiss co-founders. Simmons was not spared in the book, but to his credit, he didn't hold anything against his bandmate.

"Gene's always been very accepting," Paul told Dean Delray's Let There Be Talk podcast. "...I said things in the book that I felt were true and I would stand by what I said, but it doesn't negate that in the scheme of things, he's a terrific partner, he's a brother, and he's family. Certainly there were things that I spoke about in the book that aren't true anymore, but there were to me at some point. ... I think Gene has always respected that I have my own perspective. And, again, I couldn't be closer to him than I am now."

Kiss have two more live shows this year, before they set about wrapping up their 'End of the Road' tour in 2023. Go here for the tour dates.


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